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TV: THE MOST IMPORTANT THING WE LEARNED FROM THE 2017 #GoldenGlobes

LIL GRIPES DASH

Meryl Streep aside, the 2017 Golden Globes was Textbook 101 in why award shows without live performances shouldn’t be on television at all.

LIL GRIPES DASH

(TL;DR: Being a public figure calls for a modicum of self-awareness, a trait these award shows and their attendees lack in shovels and spades.)

Why do we watch ceremonies like the Golden Globes in the first place? The 3 G’s: The glitz, the glamor, the gossip.

Some of us watch for what’s apparently on-trend in upcoming fashion seasons, some to see what certain celebrities’ new faces look like, and a marginally few even watch to support their favorite works of art or to bemoan which ones got good ol’ snubs:

What don’t we watch for?

Not one of us watches in hopes that Meryl Streep will share her stunning sociopolitical belief that Hollywood actors are in the marginalized segments of society… or that Clint Eastwood will start stumping for Trump in front of a chair (Right-wing or Left, STFU about your politics at entertainment award shows! It’s not a Nobel; thank your mama and get off the stage. Hold a press conference on your own time!). None of us watch, either, for our personal stake in the movies or shows getting showered with gold (quite literally). These televised ceremonies target viewers who have nil to do with the entertainment industry. All in all… we only watch because it’s a guilty pleasure, much like the Real Housewives of [insert city].

These broadcasts, year and year again, repeatedly show a willful ignorance of this fact. Instead, they opt for self-indulgence, not unlike our buddy King Lion here:

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Tom Hiddleston, is that you? 

3 Compelling Reasons Why the “Award” Part of Award Shows Need Not Be on TV:

1.  The lack of entertainment on a show celebrating entertainment:

We love Jimmy Fallon, but boy, did he fail Sunday at this whole hosting thing. Keeping with the theme of self-indulgence, Fallon opened with, in lieu of a raunchy, satirical monologue like his predecessors, a cutesy cold open that only those who have seen the film La La Land (which is 2% of Golden Globes viewers) will appreciate. The rest of the night was spent with him doing the intermittent ’80s hip-hop parody… because.

As someone who has watched the Oscars, Grammys, Golden Globes, etc. with glee from a very young age, I have only noticed this pattern in adulthood: The shows that invite cynicism from the viewers (mainly due to boredom) are ones that provide little in the way of comedy and/or live performances.

The Oscars, while still managing to be way too long each year, at least sprinkle musical performances throughout the evening. The Tonys are very much a show in that their theatrical skits encapsulate the magic of what the night was meant to celebrate in the first place. Same can be said for the Grammys; each year, people tune in for their favorite artists’ performances of their latest and greatest, capitalizing on the Grammys’ huge production budget.

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Then there are “shows” like the Golden Globes and Emmys, which rely entirely on the talents of the host to eke by, praying for controversial moments that will end up talking points the following week. In the past, Ricky Gervais and the dynamic duo of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler have buoyed the Globes with politically incorrect jokes taking direct aim at Hollywood inhabitants in the room, assuming the point of view of those at home. When we the viewers hear Tina and Amy joke about where Leonardo DiCaprio likes his supermodels or a tipsy Ricky Gervais demand Mel Gibson explain what sugar t*ts are, we feel included in the night. A part of the glamor and self-celebration.

2. The insufferably self-important speeches relevant to no one not in the industry:

Ok, Meryl, try to “empathize” with this:

On a show in which every movie star is decked out like a show pony and liquored up to the nines, someone suddenly taking a moment to preach their political views to the masses is not only being tone-deaf, but appearing to hijack the entire night’s spotlight for themselves.

Besides Meryl Streep, Tom Hiddleston also failed to get this memo (or just ignored it in true lack of self-awareness). Accepting his trophy for his role in AMC’s The Night Manager, Hiddleston also took home the win for Biggest Humblebrag of the Night. He told a long story about how, on a trip to South Sudan, a bunch of Doctors Without Borders had approached him and claimed they binge-watched his miniseries while working to lend help to the war-torn region. Hiddleston declared how moved he was by “the idea that we could provide some relief and entertainment for people who are fixing the world in the places where it is broken.”

Essentially, he patted himself on the back for lending entertainment to the people risking their lives helping the less fortunate in Sudan. Scandal star Joshua Malina summed it best when he tweeted:

“Thank you to Tom Hiddleston and all actors who dare to perform in projects that are shown in some of the most dangerous parts of the world.”

3. The Inevitable Technical Malfunctions:

Not all actors are blessed with the gift of improv, which is fine, except when the Teleprompter fails and they have nothing to read.

Every goddamn year, without fail, the Golden Globes has at least one instance of this. This year, it happened as soon as Jimmy Fallon made his way to the stage. What we, the entertain-ees, are left with, is a steaming pile of blushed cheeks and Fallon hemming and hawing. What is it with Dick Clark Productions and uncoordinated tech? Maybe Mariah Carey is onto something. Maybe DC Productions is not trying to purposely sabotage the poor souls on stage, and ruin the viewing experience for all, but one does wonder: Are they comfortably incompetent because they are passively chasing that “moment” in this age of instant viral social media?

The 3 positives from this year’s Globes?

People who still wanted to entertain… and Me:

Sofia Vergara:

Steve Carrell and Kristen Wiig:

Blake Lively? She’s Been Slacking since Gossip Girl!

LIL GRIPES DASH

We watch the Golden Globes because it’s a guilty pleasure, much like the Real Housewives of [insert city]… Not one of us watches in hopes that Meryl Streep will share her stunning sociopolitical belief that Hollywood actors are in the marginalized segments of society… or that Clint Eastwood will start stumping for Trump.

LIL GRIPES DASH

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ICYMI: TOP STORIES OF THE WEEK + “Ask Me Anything” Videos

LIL GRIPES DASH

A Round-Up of This Week’s Top Stories:

Click on images to see article:

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LIL GRIPES DASH

VIDEO: HAVE I BEEN IN TROUBLE WITH THE LAW? And Other “Get to Know Me” Questions Pt 2/2

MY “GET TO KNOW ME QUESTIONS” video sessions conclude today with the following! Watch yesterday’s video answers here: HAVE I GONE SKINNY DIPPING? And Other “Get to Know Me” Questions Pt 1/2

“Lord of the Rings” or “Game of Thrones?”

Does Size Matter?

Favorite Superhero Ever and Why?

Have I Ever Been In Trouble with the Law?

Have I Ever Dated a Black Guy?

“Star Trek” or “Star Wars”?

Which Musician Do I Want to Meet the Most?

What’s the One Question I Want to Ask God Most?

What Kind of Music Do I Like?

What Would I Do if I Won the Lottery?

What is the Girliest Show I Watch?

My First Period

Where Would I Travel Anywhere in the World?

Which “The Walking Dead” Character Would I Bring Back from the Dead?

As Whom Do I Most Want to Cosplay?

Will I Return to the East Side Dave Show?

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VIDEO: HAVE I GONE SKINNY DIPPING? And Other “Get to Know Me” Questions Pt 1/2

MY “GET TO KNOW ME QUESTIONS”/”ASK ME ANYTHING” VIDEO FEATURE IS RELEASED TODAY AND TOMORROW:

Part 2 Here: VIDEO: HAVE I BEEN IN TROUBLE WITH THE LAW? And Other “Get to Know Me” Questions Pt 2/2

Favorite Athlete

Am I a Feminist?

Actor/Actress I Want to Meet the Most?

Am I a “Westworld” fan?

Would I rather have Captain America’s shield, Green Lantern’s ring, Iron Man’s suit, or Thor’s hammer?

After the Negan/Lucille premiere, is “The Walking Dead” sleeping through the season?

Do I Draw or Write?

I Wrote a Disturbing Screenplay When I was 12

Do I Have Any Unusual Talents?

Have I Played Any Sports?

Do I have Any Phobias?

Did I Have Any Childhood Nicknames?

Have I Ever Gone Skinny-Dipping?

Marvel or DC?

Sexiest Female Superhero?

Sexiest Male Superhero?

Who Would Win: Wonder Woman or Superman?

PART 2 tomorrow.

 

ICYMI: TOP STORIES OF THE WEEK + Your Poll Results!

LIL GRIPES DASH

A Round-Up of This Week’s Top Stories:

  • WHO WORE IT BEST? The 3 Best and Worst Versions of a Sexy Superhero Costume on Film/TV
  • VIDEO: “PUDDIN…” My Harley Quinn Impressions
  • LIFE: I was Grabbed by the Pussy. Literally… and Not by Donald Trump
  • VIDEO: ASK ME ANYTHING ~ Send in Your Questions for MY “Q&A” Video,
  • Breasts, Superheroes, and the Contrast between Comic Books and Film/TV

LIL GRIPES DASH

MONDAY:

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TUESDAY:

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WEDNESDAY:

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THURSDAY:

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FRIDAY:

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Your Poll Results:

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VIDEO: ASK ME ANYTHING ~ Send in Your Questions for MY “Q&A” Video!

Yesterday, I published I was Grabbed by the Pussy. Literally.

It was a piece that reminded me of why I love storytelling: I love sharing.

LIL GRIPES DASH

So in that spirit and the spirit of Noel, I have decided to do an AMA/ASK ME ANYTHING/Q&A VIDEO! (Thanks to a lovely reader for suggesting the idea in the first place 🙂 ) It will be just like a Reddit AMA… except it won’t be on Reddit… and it won’t be an AMA per se and it won’t be live. The ANYTHING part is true, though! My answers will also all be in video format!  That is, like, so much better than most Reddit AMAs. Sort of.

SEND ALL QUESTIONS TO comments section BELOW or to LILGRIPES@GMAIL.COM

You can also message me on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram!

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

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VIDEO: “PUDDIN…” My Harley Quinn Impressions

LIL GRIPES DASH

I finally watched “Suicide Squad”… and I caught the acting bug… well, to play one character: Harley Quinn a.k.a. Harleen Frances Quinzel (guess the MD suffix no longer is valid). LIL GRIPES DASH

Margot Robbie was, forgive the redundancy, ROBBED of her due screen-time. Harley Quinn is not a stoic supervillain. Harley Quinn chews the scenery. Harley Quinn is the show.

Now, all I need is bleach-blonde hair and some pink and blue lowlights.

AND that “Lucky You” tattoo above her… happy place. 😉

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