Tag Archives: life

WHY #ADayWithoutWomen WILL DO MORE HARM THAN GOOD

It is International Women’s Day 2017 today. I love it; I love women and I love being a woman, especially in America.  I owe my many freedoms to the men and women who made it possible here for female citizens to vote, to work more easily as a mother, to reclaim her own reproductive rights and to have a general voice in society. These are merely a few of the glorious rights we women possess in the freest country in the world. So why on God’s green Earth is this phenomenon called “Day Without a Woman” taking place, today of all days, as well?

All across social media the past week, I have been seeing posts encouraging American women, on March 8, to skip work (“paid or unpaid”), to wear red, to eschew social media (oops), and to not spend money anywhere other than at small woman-owned businesses. Is this a protest? A strike? A show of solidarity? Whatever the case, this radical display won’t accomplish anything other than alienating those who have never not supported women’s rights. Here’s why:

1. What Rights Don’t Women Have in 2017’s America? It is laughable in the face of tragedies, of the life-and-death variety, happening to women elsewhere in the world (Sharia Law ring a bell, anyone?) that American women are the ones complaining about being subjugated. No, not laughable– downright, maddeningly offensive.

Part of this protest’s manifesto professes to aim to “stand with women around the world.”  I’m sure the woman who got stoned to death for being a rape victim in [name a country] would appreciate this patronizing, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it gesture from those who don’t have to confront such horrors on a daily basis.

You took a day off from your unpaid internship getting Jimmy Fallon coffee? Aww, my mutilated clitoris and I thank you!… Wait, you’re not gonna buy any shoes at Bloomingdales today? Girl power!

If you want to take a stand for women’s rights today, do it in a manner both more direct and effective. Use the time you are off today to volunteer, whether it’s for a women’s shelter here (funny how NONE of the manifesto’s enumerations included this idea) or an international charity helping to empower women oppressed under Sharia Law.  There are areas of England, England, in which I cannot walk down the street holding hands with my male partner thanks to the implementation of Sharia Law.

I’m sure the woman who got stoned for being a rape victim would appreciate this patronizing, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it gesture from those who don’t have to confront such horrors on a daily basis:

You took a day off from your unpaid internship getting Jimmy Fallon coffee? Aww, thank you!

You’re not gonna buy any shoes at Bloomingdales today? Girl power!

2. This is So Presumptuously Pompous. “Skip work today.” Okay! I’ll just tell my boss I need the day off… because I’m a hard-working American woman who deserves to skip work! I have too many privileges in this country, which I need to enjoy at my own leisure on this day… because. The manifesto made NO attempt to modify its parameters for the majority of American women, who simply cannot afford to take time off on a random Wednesday… i.e. who can’t afford to lose their jobs because a bunch of celebrities skipped work and tweeted at them to do so, as well.

Do you see how, maybe, this could make many people, who probably have always supported feminist values, roll their eyes so far into the back of their heads?

The manifesto made NO attempt to modify its parameters for the majority of American women, who can’t afford to lose their jobs because a bunch of celebrities skipped work and tweeted at them to do so, as well.

3. Why can’t It Just Be #InternationalHUMANSDay? Look, I love that we are celebrating the good people who are our mothers, sisters, daughters and lovers but these demographic-specific holidays have always come off self-segregating and ultimately detrimental to the cause.

Sure, all holidays are merely symbolic by nature, but is it so radical to ask that, in 21st century’s First World, we celebrate both sexes and their accomplishments at the same time? Or all races simultaneously? Or how about just celebrating those individuals, of any race, gender, or creed, who have contributed greatly to our society?  That way, we are not drawing self-dividing lines that submerge each person’s individual value beneath inane labels, labels that unnecessarily box us in and squirrel us away from uniting as one human race.

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VIDEO: HAVE I BEEN IN TROUBLE WITH THE LAW? And Other “Get to Know Me” Questions Pt 2/2

MY “GET TO KNOW ME QUESTIONS” video sessions conclude today with the following! Watch yesterday’s video answers here: HAVE I GONE SKINNY DIPPING? And Other “Get to Know Me” Questions Pt 1/2

“Lord of the Rings” or “Game of Thrones?”

Does Size Matter?

Favorite Superhero Ever and Why?

Have I Ever Been In Trouble with the Law?

Have I Ever Dated a Black Guy?

“Star Trek” or “Star Wars”?

Which Musician Do I Want to Meet the Most?

What’s the One Question I Want to Ask God Most?

What Kind of Music Do I Like?

What Would I Do if I Won the Lottery?

What is the Girliest Show I Watch?

My First Period

Where Would I Travel Anywhere in the World?

Which “The Walking Dead” Character Would I Bring Back from the Dead?

As Whom Do I Most Want to Cosplay?

Will I Return to the East Side Dave Show?

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LIFE: I was Grabbed by the Pussy. Literally… and Not by a Billionaire Mogul.

I was grabbed by the pussy. For real.

It’s no secret Mainstream Media is BFFs with false outrage. Apparently, Donald Trump once said, in private, that because of his station in life, all he has to do to woo women is to “grab them by the pussy.” Now, as someone who has literally had her vagina grabbed on a sidewalk by a complete and utter stranger, all I have to say to the media hoopla over his throwaway comment was, “Soooo F-ing What?”

My story is simple and straightforward… with a touch of irony. A young Latino (the ironic part) man in a red baseball cap and hoodie walked past me on an empty main street. I thought nothing of these descriptive details of my would-be assailant on the day it happened. I was 21, feeling moody, so I thought I would soak in some summery rays by getting outside in my new floral skirt. I turned the corner onto an even quieter side street. Lost in my brooding playlist, I did not sense anything until I felt a hand from behind lift up my skirt and firmly close its grip around my vaginal area. I heard a laugh… a maniacal laugh as I turned around to face my attacker. Too late; he was already fast-running away (while still laughing). All I could do was hurl all the expletives my brain could summon in such a startled state.

I was furious, shaking, and humiliated. The only passive-aggressive victory I took away from the encounter was the knowledge that I was on a heavy-flow period that day and my attacker had grabbed a bloody vagina. Take that.

Over time, the trauma of the event dissipated on its own. I only told a handful of my friends and only when it came up in relevant conversation. I had just accepted what happened. Nothing is repressed. My anger was duly processed. Remembering the assault is like rediscovering an old Polaroid that has since faded to black-and-white.

So when I hear people cry that Trump’s words invoke “rape culture,” I only have one question in response… “WTF IS ‘RAPE CULTURE’?” The real world does not operate on terms of fancy, theoretical concepts of innuendo and implications. The real world just happens. It contains scumbags who grab your bloody vagina (and laugh as they immediately run away for fear of retaliation). You’re either raped and/or sexually molested like I was, or you’re not.

That’s it. Trump’s words have been blown out of proportion, laughably so, from where I sit. They were crude and made in very, very poor taste but I have heard much worse. More importantly, most people have experienced much worse. Real life, like it or not, is much more complicated than what the media tries to sell you in a ratings-friendly six-word headline.

This is not a pro- or anti-Trump post. My words reflect only my personal assessment of the hilarious circus the media has created around, granted, a pretty circus-inviting public figure’s words… Except real life can actually hurt you; words cannot.

LIL GRIPES DASH

Real life is much more complicated than what the media tries to sell you in a ratings-friendly six-word headline.

LIL GRIPES DASH

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HAPPY #VALENTINESDAY, Single or Not! 

 

VALENTINE’S DAY 2016 is tomorrow and Li’l Gripes just wants to remind everyone that whether you have a Valentine or not, the day can go just as bad or as good as you will it. Just like any other day.

So if you’re spending it single, allow me to inform you that last Valentine’s Day, my last boyfriend’s idea of romance was an absolute CLUNKER (I’ve found a Valentine this year who’s much sweeter, let’s say). Couples get their expectations too high and the whole day puts a lot of strain on otherwise-steady relationships.

So take it easy, single or not, this and every February 14. You have to live through it–it’s up to you whether you live it smiling or wallowing.

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 You have to live through Valentine’s Day–it’s up to you whether you live it smiling or wallowing.

 

Lilosophies ~ Part Three

PART 3 of the ongoing Lilosophies series:

Part 1

Part 2

“If I’m older, I better be fucking wiser.”

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“When marketing, never overestimate or underestimate your consumer’s intelligence.”

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“A person who takes no pride in his or her appearance may as well have no soul.”

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“Creativity needs stimuli to further breed.”

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“Don’t let anything but TV and magazines make you feel less than superior about yourself.”

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“For my fellow perfectionists, our key mantra should be ‘Stop when it’s just enough.'”

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“You’re only as good as your latest selfie.”

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“Life is too short to curb your tongue.”

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Lil’s Favorite Photography of 2015

THEY SAY WE ARE WHAT WE LOVE. If that’s true, these photos I cherished in 2015 comprised bits and pieces of the kind of person I was. Some of these photos I took and some are others’ depictions of empowering moments for me this past year.

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Me and a mini-Predator

All are photos that inspired me, made me smile, and, not to get sassy, made me proud to own me. 2015 was one of the first years during which I have truly sensed a change for the better in myself.

WARNING: SUPER-RANDOM CONTENT AHEAD.

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My Dog and My Work Tools, © 2015 Lillian Gao

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Boyfriend-given Mickey Mouse Bandaids, © 2015 Lillian Gao

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Makeup-less Adele, Photo via Rolling Stone

doll2nd Ave F train Exit Mural, © 2015 Lillian Gao

CUUgdd8VEAAbmc8Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman, Photo via Entertainment Weekly

IMG_7555Gwyneth Paltrow, aka “GOOP,” as a coaster, © 2015 Lillian Gao

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A Predator/Yautja in the East Village, © 2015 Lillian Gao

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Daisy Johnson aka “Quake” on Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD, Photo via ABC

IMG_6322New York Street Hustle, © 2015 Lillian Gao

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My 1st Encounter with a Teacup Vietnamese Potbellied Pig, © 2015 Lillian Gao

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Bobbi Morse aka “Mockingbird” on Marvel’s “Agents of Shield,” Photo via Comic Book Resources

IMG_7562Mixed Media Artwork by Christopher G. Asberry, © 2015 Lillian Gao

taylorTaylor Swift’s Cat Eye-Side Eye, Photo via Variety

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Stuffed Bunny Wearing a Rosary, © 2015 Lillian Gao

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The Walking Dead Season 6 Collage, Photo via AMC

There is so, so much more, but I wanted to narrow it down to just the favorite of the favorites.

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GET THESE: “HIS AND HERS” IPHONE 6 CASES

LOVE YOUR IPHONE? I SURE AS HELL LOVE MINE. I have a friend who refuses to get a protective case for hers and I just don’t get it. I don’t care how great your insurance is. Drop it in the toilet once–you lose ALL your selfies. ALL YOUR SELFIES! THE HORROR! (We all know iCloud can only back up so much)

So, here are my recommendations for 2 of his and her iPhone 6 cases each (There are iPhone 6 Plus equivalents for all these cases):

FOR THE GENTLEMAN…

1. Native Union iPhone 6 & 6s Marble Case, $80:

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2. LIFEPROOF Frē iPhone 6 protective phone case, £69.99, £62.99:

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AND FOR THE LADY…

1. Kate Spade New York ‘glitter’ iPhone 6 Plus & 6s Plus case, $45:

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2. Boston Terrier Hipster Glasses Transparent iPhone 6 case, $40:

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