1. Elizabeth Olsen
WHY AM I SO GAGA over Elizabeth Olsen right now? She is Hollywood’s Next Big Thing and I’ve been saying it for… friends, for how long have I been saying it?… She’s beautiful (Her bone structure could give Sir Cheekbones himself, Benedict Cumberbatch, a run for his pounds) and her tiny face seems to grow prettier the longer you look at her; I’ve watched Lizzie (by which she introduces herself to everyone apparently–journalists and fans alike) drop words like “dramaturgical” on talk shows without any pretentious pauses for effect and on those exact same shows, seem to forget that she, in fact, was being interviewed.
Unlike her ultra-guarded twin dynamo sisters, Mary Kate and Ashley, Lizzie is blithely candid in interviews–she answers questions about her superstar sisters like it’s the first time she’s ever heard them asked and raves as enthuastically about her 300-sq ft 1-bedroom apartment (remember: her sisters are billionaires) as she does about the freebies she gets to enjoy as an Olsen (free designer threads, exclusive VIP passes to Hollywood gatherings…). Oh, also, she just played the FRIGGIN’ SCARLET WITCH in this May’s “Avengers: Age of Ultron” (and crushed it beyond fans’ expectations–check the IMDB message boards).
Beyond all the other reasons for falling in love with this 5’7″ NYU Tisch grad, however, the principal one remains that Lizzie Olsen is really, really good at her job. There is a prodigious wide-eyed innocence she imbues into every role, whether she is a damaged cult escapee or a mutated (…Inhuman?….) superheroine. In 2011’s indie darling, “Martha Marcy May Marlene,” she disquietedly conveys the nuanced psychological transformation of a girl both emotionally and physically leaving behind the cult to which she once belonged. 2013’s redundantly gruesome Spike Lee remake of the Korean psycho-thriller remake, “Oldboy,” got mediocre-to-HORRIFIC reviews but Olsen was universally praised for her understated turn as a lustful-but-earnest young misfit.
In 2011’s indie darling, “Martha Marcy May Marlene,” [Olsen] disquietedly conveys the nuanced psychological transformation of a girl both emotionally and physically leaving behind the cult to which she once belonged.
It is Olsen’s Scarlet Witch, though, in “Age of Ultron” (my own review on this particular film to come) that sold me on her ability to be the one thing to which all actors, whether or not they admit it, aspire: a movie star. I LOVE watching a gorgeous young woman kick ASSSSSS, preferably in a super-enhanced, hex-bolt-throwing kind of way. The kind where their eyes glow or they can at least do a super-sick flying kick (Black Widow, looking atcha). Olsen, however, focuses the Scarlet Witch (neé Wanda Maximoff) on her survivor story arc, her steeliness masking a deeply shaken naiveté. I also can’t imagine it is easy for any actor to stand across from a 5’10” James Spader (portraying the titular villain through performance-capture) with a rod and two red rubber balls attached to his head to mimic Ultron’s towering eye-line and act genuinely scared/menaced/angered. Lizzie pulls it off with a convincing hypnotism. After a few first Scarlet Witch’s scenes, you begin feeling her absence whenever she’s not onscreen. If you haven’t seen this blockbuster of a sequel yet, see it for one thing only if you must… the new Olsen running Hollywood.
I can’t imagine it is easy for any actor to stand across from a 5’10” James Spader with a rod and two red rubber balls attached to his head to mimic Ultron’s towering eye-line and act genuinely scared/menaced/angered. Lizzie Olsen pulls it off with a convincing hypnotism.
2. Stella McCartney Olive/Tortoiseshell Wayfarer Sunglasses
THE SECOND ON MY LIST of #LilsThreeBestforJune is best expressed visually. Ever since that movie I’ve yet to see, “Risky Business,” popularized these funny little, uptilting square-with-triangular-corners shades called Wayfarers, it has been the go-to for both yuppies and wannabe-yuppies.
I came across my Stella McCartney Olive/Tortoiseshell Wayfarers on a particularly fortuitous Gilt sale, but I LOVE YOU and found it online at C21stores.com: http://www.c21stores.com/designers_shop-by-category_sunglasses/stella-mccartney-sm4043-olive-tortoiseshell-wayfarer-sunglasses. INSANE DISCOUNT ALERT!
Sure, you can go for the most famous Wayfarers in the world, the Ray -Ban collection. After all, they are the authority on yuppie-chic (and I say that with zero condescension). I cannot get my fill of Ray-Bans. Mr./Ms. President of Ray-Ban, are you paying attention?). Or the many imitation Wayfarers in the world.
No. STAND OUT with these beautiful Stella’s. Their “Green on Top and Tortoiseshell brown on Bottom” pattern hikes up the Wayfarer game to the next level. It is also timeless, as all Stella McCartney pieces tend to be. Don’t fret- You can have your Ray-Bans and Stella’s at the same time, guys.
EVEN IF YOU DON’T SMOKE POT, drink at work, or ingest any number of illicit drugs, Comedy Central’s “Workaholics” is for you. Ok, slight exaggeration. If you enjoy a loose-structure comedy about three male Millennials who happen to indulge in all three of those activities, then “Workaholics” is for you. Ok, even more specifically… If you are a Millennial who enjoys loosely structured comedy about three male Millennials who happen to indulge in all three of those activities, “Workaholics” is, like, so for you. So. For. YOU.
Centered around the lives of three socially AND professionally inept best buds/roommates/hourly potheads/heavy drinkers/recreational drug users/coworkers at a telemarketing company, the best part of this show is that its frat-boy comedy surface is just that: purely and simply a smokescreen. …A.K.A. “‘Workaholics’: NOT just a show about dick jokes.”
Don’t get me wrong: Each episode is an half-hour progression of comedic set pieces focused on erections (only in the presence of other males), masturbation, and conversations exclusively about the first two things. That’s the skeleton of the show. The charm and charisma both lie in the rich bond of the trio’s friendship and the wildly original imagination it must have taken to cook up the follies these boys stumble upon.
The boys? They are three of the most refreshing and more importantly, most realistic BFF trios TV viewers have ever encountered. There is Anders “Ders” Holmvik (played by Anders Holm), Blake Henderson (Blake Anderson), and Adam DeMamp (Adam DeVine).
Just like the similarity between their real and show names, the boys are so endearing because their onscreen personas are 90-100% authentic. Anders’s weird obsession with Jamie Foxx is VERY real; Adam has really watched every Jean Claude Van Damme movie in existence; Blake really is into World of Warcraft and all three truly, truly love that weed.
The best part [about “Workaholics”] is that its frat-boy comedy surface is just that: purely and simply a smokescreen. …
A.K.A. “‘Workaholics’: NOT just dick jokes.”
It does not hurt that the three naturally happen to complement each other in the height, size, and personality departments. Ders is the 6’4″ Norwegian-American collegiate swimmer (Holm himself was a highly competitive swimmer at the University of Wisconsin) and most level-headed and literate member of the crew. Adam is the 5’8″ baby-faced (and baby-bodied) horny adult toddler constantly chasing tail. Free-spirited Blake, with that hippie-esque curly mane and assorted tie-dye tees, is the trio’s peacekeeper, the calm buffer when volatile Adam and responsible Ders clash.
Aside from the boys’ undeniable chemistry, “Workaholics” consistently churns out immediately Twitter-trending catchphrases like “#LetsGetWeird,” “#FutureBabes,” and the most original (…right word?) of them all, the terms “Loose vs. #TightButthole.” Please, if you will, click on the hyperlinked illustrations of these terms because it would be sacrilege for me to try and break them down in my own words.
The extra-extra-creamy icing on the cake, “Workaholics”‘s main creators and writers are, in fact, the three stars themselves along with co-star Kyle Newacheck (their drug dealer, Karl –big surprise–Hevacheck). The foursome originated as part of a LA sketch comedy group Mail Order Comedy, which is now the name of their production company.
Intended for this niche audience of sorta-lost-to-super-lost Millennials looking for a place in the adult world, the stars and writers all understand that basic cable is a limiting field for their audience’s wandering tastes and boundaries. Once again separating this show’s talent from so many others’, the creators always find a way around the B.S. FCC racket. To wit, Adam DeMamp/DeVine appears in one scene completely full-frontal with only his penis tucked in à la Buffalo Bill. ON BASIC CABLE AT 10:30PM (ET). Holm got around to revealing how they outsmarted their Comedy Central overlords recently on “Late Night with Seth Meyers.”
Comedy Central told the boys, “We can’t show full-frontal pubic hair on-air.”
The boys responded, “Great, then we’ll just shave off all of Adam’s pubic hair.”
And here we are (I actually think this IS Safe For Work): http://malecelebsblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Adam-DeVine-11.jpg
Disagree all day that this show has any redeeming cultural value. This show was not likely meant for you. As Adam Demamp would say, it’s for the children. Because the children, the children…are our future. AND THE FUTURE IS HERE. *@AdamDeVine, did I get that even close to right?
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The love is done. Get ready for hateful ranting next week.